Wednesday, April 15, 2009

I was almost cool..

Besides having the crazy little voice in my head driving me to do something I really shouldn't .. most of my stupidly attempted death defying feats are usually instigated by one of my friends and their maniacal hopes to see me once again enter the pain cave. This time was no different. It all started with my friend BJ saying, "we can do this".

On one of our rides through Loch Raven we came upon a downed tree. The tree must have just fallen recently because it wasn't there the last time we were there. I was in the middle of the group but as we rode past the tree i saw BJ looking over at it and I knew it wasn't going to turn out good for me. It was early on in the the ride and when we all re-grouped at the typical re-grouping point the tree started to be discussed. BJ' started with "You see that downed tree back there?" Yup... "We should try that on the way back" I knew that was coming. damn him. So we go up to the speed loop then start making out way back and I knew the tree was coming up. I was leading so I tried to shoot past it like I forgot or didn't know it was coming up but BJ didn't forget. He knew where that damn thing was and stopped the rest of the group, yelled up to me and I was trapped.

Now, I knew I didn't have to try it but usually it's the whole come on man we can do this. I'll try if you will, and then I'm suckered in. I have to try it at the point. You know, otherwise you are a punk. That's what friends are there for right? Putting you in dangerous situations and then laughing at your misery when you fail horribly.

Said tree in question was probably about 12 feet long, well at least the ride-able section of it. It was about an average of three feet off the ground. Someone had built up some wood and rocks as a ramp to mount the log (yeah that's right, I said mount the log!). So I'm standing there looking at this thing thinking it's not that high but damn.. riding a tree is not something I attempt very often. BJ makes the first attempt, gets up onto the log and rides about a foot then hops off. Nice man, good job. My turn, oh well. Here goes. I ride up to the ramp and take it perfectly. I'm on the log and riding smoothly down it but I'm not pedaling. I'm just coasting. In my head I guess I thought pedaling would have been a bad idea but I needed more speed. I must have been in shock that I actually got up there and was doing ok .. and as such my head appeared to think that it was all or nothing. Don't just hop off the log and ride away looking like a Bad Ass. Nope, for some reason I was trying to ride the whole length of the tree. I got about eight feet down the tree and then my bike came to a stop. I just stood there for a second or two cliped in thinking what the hell am I going to do? If you said pedal, nope that would have made sense. Did you say hop off the log like you mentioned? Nope. I chose the third option which was to just fall over sideways. On the ground that's no biggy but when you are three feet off the ground plus the bike height it's not so fun. So like the tree I was attempting to ride I slowly but surely leaned to the side and started picking up speed. All that was missing was TIMBER!. BAM.. on the ground. I pretty much landed full on my knee and hip.

But did that stop me? Hell NO ! .. I jumped right back up! My friends were in the midst of the obligatory " Are you ok Man?" which then leads to the typical laughter followed by the " You should have done _________ whatever it was I should have done". But this time I hardly heard them, I was so mad that I had ridden the thing for a good distance and instead of just hopping off one shoting my first log ride I froze up and toppled over like a tool. So I road back and went for it again, now mad and determined to clean this thing. But as I hit the log I realized mad and determined where not what I needed. Anger pretty much wipes away any chance of pulling off said obstacle or trick. I hit the log with way too much speed, road a wheelie about 2 feet until I then went left again but this time flipping the bike out from under me and landing flat on my back. That one hurt, bad. But thankfully I had my camelback on which acted some what as a cushion. But again I pop'd back up. Now super Mad and annoyed that this inanimate object was beating me! I will win this here battle LOG, Oh yes I will! So again I go back to try one more time. I get up on the log but I'm too far to the side and go shooting off, I love my clipless pedals but they do make it hard to leap off the bike when floating above the ground. I crash in a heap and hit my hip again but it will not stop me, I shall prevail. At this point my friends are not laughing, they are now pleading me not to keep at it. "Dude you are going to kill yourself" "Please stop" ... one more try. I go at it again but I don't even have the strength to make it up the ramp thing. I kinda just jump off it and thankfully land on my wheels. I'm sore and exhausted and to my friends relief done with the log ride. what BJ started my hard head finished.

I never tried that damn log again but every time from then on as I rode by it I cussed it out. Like it was a bully from the schoolyard. Thinking, Odoul, I see something really bad happening to you ala Billy Madison. And now as I ride by it, it's nothing more then a decaying piece of wood in sections of about two feet long at max. And I think, who's laughing now LOG!

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